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From the awesomely entertaining blog Boner Party:

anyone who has a fucking tattoo’s worth of interest in Marilyn Monroe is unstable. there are two types of women in this world: those who idolize Audrey Hepburn, and those who idolize Marilyn Monroe. girls who idolize Audrey Hepburn make rad girlfriend material and you can talk about politics with them and still totally do it on the sly on top of the washing machine. girls that idolize Marilyn Monroe are fucking insane, eat babies, and hate black people.

Glad to hear someone say what I've always thought. Except for the part where Marilyn girls are schizophrenic, cannibalistic racists. (Only some of them are.) If you know me, you know I dig Audrey girls. And while it's not a complete dealbreaker, girls who admire Marilyn definitely lose points in my book. Precious, precious points.

1. Be mindful.
2. Just do it. (Consider less options in less time. Make decisions quickly.)
3. Practice ZTD. (The best productivity system ever.)
4. Practice complex problem solving.
5. Dedicate 1 hour a week to undistracted thinking. (Go for a walk, mindmap, etc.)
6. Develop exercise routine. (Track progress.)
7. Read 1 book every 2 weeks. (1/14 of a book every night before I sleep.)
8. Budget.
9. Eat vegetarian as often as possible. (Suggestions from Yelp.)
10. Floss every night. (Leave floss on my pillow.)
11. Drink 2 cups of water as soon as I wake up. (Add lime if necessary.)
12. Watch a Best Picture movie with my parents every week. (Netflix.)

On the most recent episode of This American Life, Ira Glass interviewed a man named Dr. Will Felps, a Rotterdam Business School professor, who published a study concluding that one person can undermine the success of a group. There are 3 types of Bad Apples:

1. The jerk
   This personality will make rude and insulting comments directed at others. He’ll criticize other people’s ideas without offering up alternative ideas of his own.
2. The slacker
   The attitude of indifference persists within this person. Verbally and non-verbally, he’ll convey feelings of “whatever” and “who cares.”
3. The depressive pessimist
   The Debbie Downer of the group. This person will complain about how unenjoyable the project is and openly doubts the group will succeed.

Groups in the study infected with a Bad Apple performed 30%-to-40% worse than similar groups without a Bad Apple. But more surprising was how the group members would begin to treat each other, gradually taking on the Bad Apple's characteristics.

But there was one glimmer of hope. One group in the study wasn't affected by the Bad Apple. And the reason was one guy who was a particularly good leader. He asked questions, engaged all the team members, and diffused conflicts. (His father happens to be a diplomat.) Ira Glass concludes the story with a question: Could listening be all that it takes to overcome bad behavior? "That by listening to each other, trying to understand each other, we can get to the point where nobody can ruin things for anybody else."

The takeaways for group dynamics are obvious, but I think bad apples can also materialize in your mind. All it takes is one negative thought to bring down your overall motivation, unless you formulate a "leader thought" to listen to and guide your other thoughts, helping you recognize how individual thoughts are affecting your overall state of mind.

New Years is a few days away, and I'm sure many of you will be setting resolutions to develop good habits. All it takes is one negative thought/person to ruin your plans.

My cousin Wilbert from the Philippines sent me this Christmas greeting.

You may recall meeting him here or here.

Considering the number of blogs I've maintained in my lifetime, I'm sure it won't surprise you that I have no problem being an open book. I've often questioned my motivations though, wondering what psychological urge it is satisfying. Do I just enjoy the attention? Maybe I want to be seen a certain way? Or am I trying to make a statement? If so, what statement? I think it's a little bit of all of those, but just cause I'm willing and able to speak doesn't mean that I should. So should I?

I don't think wanting attention is a bad thing. Even people who say they don't like attention would admit that it feels pretty good. The problem is when people value other people's opinions over their own, which Marcus Aurelius observed when he wrote,

"It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own."

I believe that if you don't define yourself, other people will gladly do it for you. My favorite quote about legacy comes from Paul Newman, who said,

"I'd like to be remembered as a guy who tried - tried to be part of his times, tried to help people communicate with one another, tried to find some decency in his own life, tried to extend himself as a human being."

However, I've also learned to avoid placing too much significance in how I'll be remembered, keeping in mind another quote from Marcus Aurelius:

"Consider the lives led once by others, long ago, the lives to be led by others after you, the lives led even now, in foreign lands. How many people don't even know your name. How many will soon have forgotten it. How many offer you praise now - and tomorrow, perhaps, contempt. That to be remembered is worthless. Like fame. Like everything."

Cicero once wrote that a person who lives a private life lives a good life, because he is unlikely to have any effect (good or bad) on other people's lives. That's better than harming others, but I think we ought to have a positive impact on other people's lives. And blogging, openly and honestly, is one exercise that can help others just as much as it helps you.

"Speak the truth, even if your voice trembles."